The fine folks at ATPM would like to thank one of our readers for their view of what the acronym A-T-P-M really means. We kind of like it. After all, don’t we all want a totally perfect Macintosh? In this day and age, making perfect things, especially a perfect Macintosh, should be easier.
In the old days (before ATPM), regular folks didn’t have easy access to the Internet. We got by using telephones (devices which send and receive analog signals allowing two or more persons to have an audio-only conversation). Some people became so desperate for visual communication they’d travel to meetings by airplane and spend days away from home (pretty weird by our reckoning). In those days, no one could expect perfect things, let alone a perfect Macintosh.
Some people think there have been Macs that were nearly perfect for their era, such as the IIci, SE/30, etc. But, most of us still seek that Macintosh of Macintoshes, the “crème de la crème” of Power Macs, the all-time “numero uno” of Macintosh computers — fast and full-featured, bundled with lots of cool software, all at an affordable price.
Today we have more cool tools for creating a perfect Macintosh. The Internet has eliminated some quality control problems, like smudged manufacturing instructions being received at the plant via thermal paper fax, configuration problems caused by “dropped” words during cell phone calls placed by engineers while driving through a valley during a thunderstorm.
All data for design and manufacturing can now be safely and cleanly transferred via the Internet. If the information for creating A Totally Perfect Macintosh! is sent by e-mail, the fine folks at Apple can simply respond to the sender if they have a technical question.
We think it’s time to celebrate the Internet in all its glory and, quite frankly, we think it’s time to create A Totally Perfect Macintosh!! Toward that end, we’ve sent the following letter to Apple Computer. (It actually went out on official ATPM letterhead, omitted here to save space. Our letterhead sports the famous ATPM Apple icon and our secret address atop ATPM world headquarters.)
To whom it may concern at Apple:
The popular Internet magazine entitled ATPM (About This Particular Macintosh) has decided that it’s time for you to manufacture and sell A Totally Perfect Macintosh!. We are so sure of this that we are recommending the idea to you. Now that we can communicate via the Internet and share visual ideas via the World Wide Web, we think it’s the perfect time for a perfect Mac.
In lieu of paying us a royalty for our idea (we understand the red ink), we ask only that the new machine’s model name include our acronym, “ATPM” (e.g., Power Macintosh 7800-ATPM). Further, we’d appreciate having the pre-installed Web browser(s) have their default home pages set to <http://www.atpm.com>. We also ask that decals of our famous ATPM blue Apple icon be affixed to every ATPM Macintosh model shipped.
Lastly, we’d like our readers, who send us lots of ideas, to benefit, too. We’d like a special ordering center via World Wide Web. The URL should include the letters A-T-P-M in succession. Anyone who accesses this site and types, “Yo! I’m with ATPM,” at the home page prompt should get a special 15% discount on any ATPM Macintosh model ordered and a similar discount on any Apple monitor or printer purchased the same day. To keep the costs of this program low, we will give the URL only to our readers. We will ask them not to tell anyone except friends and family.
Thank you for your cooperation with this matter.
The ATPM Staff
There you have it! The makings of A Totally Perfect Macintosh! While we wait for delivery of our perfect computers, please take a few moments to read “A Totally Perfect Magazine.” It’s our special May Flowers/Apple Dollars issue. We’d like to again thank the reader who shared their meaning for the acronym, A-T-P-M. You are totally A-T-P-M cool. In fact, if we had any of the new ATPM Shirts we’re planning, we’d send one to you. Please remind us when we have them in stock.
While we wait on delivery of our perfect computers, we still believe the Macintosh is “perfectly” better than the rest.